A new year and a new me... this time hopefully it sticks

A new year but a new me?

Every January 1^st I go through the same short lived transformation as many other Americans. I attempt to transform myself or reach a new level in life. After a few weeks I realize that a thought is very hard to put into something palpable.  Perhaps it’s the fact that I don’t tweet my idea enough or tell enough people about it (sarcasm), but something holds me back each and every year and I can quite put my finger on it.

                January 1^st, 2012 was a great year for me. My son was born just weeks prior and although I had the new father jitters, I’m sure many other fathers face, I was quite content with everything. I was determined to be the best father in the history of creation. My resolution this year was to read to my son each and every night, start a college fund, and do all the work I could to ease the burden on my girlfriend. Of course the backlash of not working for two weeks, unpaid paternity time, put a strain on my wallet which pushed back the college fund. Having a baby that awoke to the sound of any noise put a damper on the reading and working the extra hours made me very tired and I slacked on helping with the baby. It’s safe to say the superman father I thought I would be found his kryptonite in 2012.

                January 1^st, 2013 was the new career year for me. After getting out of college I took the first job I could in order to save money for the baby on the way, a tele-marketing job. After a year of letting the household finances settle I felt I was in a good place to test the waters on what other jobs where out there. I applied to several Probation Officer jobs in the state and went through some interviews but did not land a job. Finally I gave up, the energy I exhausted in applying and preparing for these jobs was too much to take. I looked on to the following year in hopes that a future-me would bring me fulfillment and a better life.

                Seven days ago, December 31^st, 2013, I realized I had gained a lot of weight over the holidays. Of course I made the resolution to lose some weight, we've all been there right? Now in writing about it I realize that I in no way can live up to the high expectations I set for myself and it leaves me feeling depleted and defeated. So this year I am setting a resolution that I can live with and be happy with. Be happy being me, be happy for everything, bottom line just be happy.  There will always be problems and obstacles but with the right mindset 2014 doesn't stand a chance.